I tell myself this on a daily basis.

Distracted attention on a single page

I can feel myself coming close to a breakthrough, not a breakdown, of one sort or another.  I feel myself resisting change in the way I see and in the way my hand wants to move as I draw and paint.  I am creating a great deal of bad drawings and paintings as I attempt to apply new ways of interpreting color.  I can feel my whole body resist my attempt to simplify everything into values prior to evaluating color.  This discomfort is a good thing.  It means I am making progress.

When my resistance begins to get the better of me and insists that I either go back to my old habits or I put the pencil / brush down and clean the house instead, I force myself to stick with it and switch to drawing something different rather than switch to drawing nothing at all.  While in this state of struggle with the left side of my brain, I end up moving my hand without the focus of my eyes or the right side of my brain.  I find all of this rather interesting to watch, though unpleasant to experience.  My hope is that by the time the trees are blossoming in the Spring, the left side of my brain and the right side of my brain will have made peace with one another regarding this current argument over control and I will begin a new phase of battle as I push myself to learn more, to see more clearly and to express what I see and feel in new ways.

Drawn with Preppy Fountain Pen filled with Whalerman Sepia Ink.

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