I may have to end this series before I reach 100.
I returned home after a day with my father who suffers from Alzheimer’s.
A couple of days ago I had inquired about a plein air event that I had written into my schedule after contacting the sponsor a month ago. The logistics had not yet been worked out and I was told that I would be sent a registration form as soon as they were available. I had sent several files of images for him to see my work. The response had been positive.
The day with my father had been a bit difficult. I was not in a mood receptive to the email notifying me that the plein air event transformed into an invitational event that I am excluded from. In addition, the watercolor brushes I ordered for the Color Scheme Workshops are not being shipped to me. So much for Venus going forward again.
I poured myself some wine (not a good idea) and treated myself to a Family Treasures session, only to realize that I am totally exhausted from carrying around family history baggage. This realization opened up the floodgates ……
My energy and my attention has been misdirected for far too long. Today, that realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
Tomorrow is a new day …. another opportunity to live my life slightly differently, to take a peek at the artist within that has not yet stepped onto the stage. I am terrified.
I am even more terrified that I might not get of glimpse of the artist within before I, too, suffer the cruelty of Alzheimer’s.
Painting: Drawn first with an awesome, new, Vintage Schaeffer fountain pen, followed by watercolor.
P.S. This thermometer set lived in the drawer next to the stove for as long as I can remember. My mother told stories of the fun she had pulling taffy when she was a child. I don’t think we ever used that candy thermometer. We never did get to pull taffy. On a day like today, I probably should have picked another one of my father’s beautiful tools to paint rather than a kitchen item that reminded me of the things I didn’t do that I wanted to do. To end on a brighter note…. I do use a candy thermometer. It has become a family tradition for me to make homemade marzipan on birthdays. I use a candy thermometer to make the fondant that sits and rests for 24 hours before being kneaded into the almond paste.
Next morning, June 29, 2012…..
My memory was clouded by being grumpy. The candy thermometer was often used to make artificial maple syrup for our pancakes as well as to make the sweet, sticky syrup for popcorn balls. My mother and father worked sided by side, laughing, in the kitchen trying to roll the popcorn balls quickly before the hot syrup cooled and hardened.
Most likely, I will compete the series of 100 drawings and paintings of family treasures…….